Sometimes, I come into a game with no expectations at all, and then am pleasantly surprised when the game turns out to be amazing. Take Time, Scout, and No Thanks are all examples of games that I knew almost nothing about before playing utterly falling in love. The flip side of that scenario is when you keep seeing pictures of a game all over social media, you stalk the game’s BGG page, you voraciously consume every review and commentary about the game because it looks like so much fun, but then when you actually get to play it, it just falls flat. And unfortunately, Kabuto Sumo falls into the latter family for me.

Kabuto Sumo, designed by Tony Miller, with art by Kwanchai Moriya and published by AllPlay in 2021, is a coin-pushing dexterity game about sumo wrestling bugs trying to jostle each other off a tree stump. These beetles, all themed after famous WWE characters, evoke a ton of charm. Much of that charm is conveyed by the brilliant and evocative artwork of Kwanchai Moria, whose work coveys a sense of drama and excitement. The small helmet beetle facing down Mighty Jaw Mike, the terrifying Giant Stag Beetle makes for great piece of artwork.

The production of Kabuto Sumo is no slouch either. All the discs are large and smooth and feel nice to hold. Each of the unique characters have unique shaped pieces that will give them an edge in combat. But what is combat, in the context of Kabuto Sumo? Heavily inspired by coin pusher machines, each player will take turns moving the on-ramp to the tree trunk, and then in one steady motion, push their disc onto the tree trunk, displacing the existing discs on the board, and hopefully, pushing the opposing beetle off as well. If you can’t knock your opponent off the platform, an alternate victory condition is wrestling them into submission, by exhausting their supply of pieces.

What makes this most interesting is that the discs on the trunk aren’t square, nor are they a single size. Instead, they’re all perfectly rounded and come in 3 different sizes. Sometimes you’ll line up a push, only for a big disc 3 away from your push to slip in the wrong direction, shifting the entire play area into a state you didn’t quite expect. Now, I’m no physics major, but it is a lot more enjoyable having to deal with the chaos of round discs pushing against each other rather than boring, predictable squares.

Another layer to this combat is each character having their own unique power and pieces. One wields a large horn that can catch a whole big disc in it’s gaping maw. Another has 5 V shaped antenna that you stack together and push onto the play area in one fell swoop. These powers do cost you some of your inventory, however, so you often really want to hold it back until a truly optimal moment, lest you be left up the creek without a paddle.

I want to celebrate Kabuto Sumo. It’s unique, it looks great, I love the production, and I was obsessed with it before I got my hands on it. Now, I only have a passing familiarity with WWE characters, and I’ve never really spent time with a real coin pusher machine, but I love how unique this game is. Unfortunately for me, the gameplay failed to hook or engage not only myself, but everyone I played it with. Most of my plays happened at the 2 player count, and most of our duels devolved into a tit-for-tat defensive pushing affair. I’d move their beetle closer to the edge, they’d move it right back. More often than not it became a battle of attrition, with each player just trying to avoid a victory by submission than anything else.

Kabuto Sumo is the kind of game that charms on first contact, and a lot of that charm comes from the production. But repeat plays failed to engage or excite. Once we experienced the novelty of pushing discs off the tree trunk, doing it a second or third time felt stale, even when using different characters with different powers. Maybe my problem was always playing with adults. Lacking the whimsy and excitement of adolescence makes Kabuto Sumo hit softer than it otherwise might within the right context. It also doesn’t help that I was the most familiar with the references that all the bugs were making, and I am barely wrestling literate at that.

Image Credit: Dan Thurot @The Innocent via BGG

In the end, Kabuto Sumo leaves me with a strange feeling. Caught somewhere between admiration and indifference. I can clearly see the version of this game that absolutely sings: a table full of laughter, kids leaning in too far, someone celebrating a perfectly timed push like they’ve just won a championship belt. The design is clever, the table presence is undeniable, and the tactile joy of it all should be enough. But for me, right now, it isn’t.

What I’m left with is a game I want to love more than I actually do. A beautiful object that promises chaotic tactile delight that never actually materialized in my plays. The moments of excitement are there, when you manage to pull off a 4 disc chain and push a large piece off the other end of the tree trunk. But those moments are often separated by long stretches that feel oddly static for a dexterity game.

And yet, I’m not ready to write Kabuto Sumo off completely. Instead, I feel like I’m waiting for the right audience. I suspect the context in which Kabuto Sumo shines isn’t with a bunch of stuffy boring adults who are working out optimal defences and playing the game safely. It thrives with someone too inexperienced with life to know to play it safe. Someone who puts themselves in danger, because even though they might lose, they might do something cool in the meantime. And that moment is more valuable than victory.